Note to Self.

Note to Self…

* Don’t touch the red burner…

* Rhonda will try to burn you with the pretty red burner.

* Don’t use a thin wet dish towel as a hot pad.

* Don’t smell anything Nicole says to smell.

* Don’t talk to creepy guys with kids…scary

* Sit guy-girl, guy-girl next time we go out.

* Lock all doors while driving in Honduras.

* Watch all pedestrians; they will walk out in front of the fast moving vehicles.

* Close your eyes and pray when a car is coming at you head on...only when in the passenger's seat. (It happens quite frequently)

* Make sure all the boys are wearing underwear BEFORE asking them to try on swim trucks.

* Grab keys before you walk out the door.

* A 3-year old cannot open the door after you locked yourself out.

* When a 3-year old is screaming at you when you are in the shower, it means Rhonda locked herself out again.

* Don’t leave your hair down or you will get a nice little surprise.

* When taking Photos “Cheese” works way better than “Queso.”

* Mr. Darcy…ahh.

* Don’t eat the nasty meatballs they try to feed you...disgusting

* Make sure no one is looking when you shove the tortilla in your pocket….Guilty.

* The tortillas had six mice in them.

* When eating the nasty food with the kids, just smile and nod like everything is great because ALL eyes are on you.

* Pull all the rocks out of the beans before you cook them.

* Once you start making cookies, you can’t stop.

* Homework time can be a nightmare!

* Bribe the kids with things, it goes a whole lot better…(too bad we don’t do this often)

* Just Ignore Rhonda when she is speaking to you in Spanish.

* When Rhonda gets the roach spray out, open ALL doors and windows.

* If a guy says “hello” to you in English, don’t say “creepy guy” right in front on him, he might understand.

* Never assume someone doesn’t speak English.

* Don’t ask Rhonda how much the extremely hot guy understands in front of him...because he understands.

* The dogs do not understand English.

* You smell Cristian before you see him. (Be prepared)

* Watch all windows…Cristian will scare the mess out of you through those very windows, at least once every weekend.

* Make sure you are fully dressed and prepared for when the guy comes knocking on the door in the morning.

* You cannot find a one piece swimsuit in Honduras.

* Tom and Jerry is the best cartoon to watch in Spanish, they don’t talk.

* Don’t’ let your only words at the dinner table be “Road Runner!”

* The bugs come out at night and the fly swatter becomes your best friend.

* Don’t give metal cans to the kids unless you want to put band aids on all of them.

* There’s a new adventure here every day.

* If there’s a puddle of wetness in the middle of the boy’s room, DO NOT step in it…it’s not water.

* Always have toilet paper with you, because most of the time you won’t find any in public bathrooms.

* Past 10 o’clock everything becomes funny.

* When Rhonda has a large metal spoon in her hand, run, it hurts when she drops it on your toe.

* Translate everything in your head; people may think you’re crazy if you say it out loud.

* The roosters do not know time, so don’t let them be your alarm clock.

* La Luz (the light) is the best ever! When the first one comes on, the second is soon to follow.

* Luisa Rocks!

* Why do we always look for the gringos?

* Don’t make eye contact!

* If Maynor has a green mouth, it's because he got into the play-dough again.

* Things are super quiet when “Papi” is in the kitchen.

* When talking about bootlegged movies, don’t let “Bootlegged” be the only words you whisper. Someone will ask “why is she red?” and you will turn a whole other shade of red.

* “Why do you talk with your mouth closed?” I don’t know…(later on that night) It’s because I’m nervous.

* Stop your “note to self” list before 10 o’clock.

* I am completely totally in love with this place (: